It has been 8 years. I’d be lying if i said i have remembered you every single day. Truth is i have not forgotten you even for moment all these years.
Who says time is a great healer? I begged God to return you to us, but he never did. I cried until tears dried up. So did everyone in our family. And deep down in my heart, anger still boils up questioning God’s design. There are some hurts that go too deep.There have been so many other losses after you. Friends. Family elders. But you do know that your being snatched away by God has had the single biggest impact on my life. It has been said truly that the younger the age at which we put aside the delusion of personal immortality, the longer the period of intense, focused living wherein you tremendously value each day, each waking hour, each minute. The lingering awareness of death and fragility of life encourages one to live more intensely.
I have, in my own small way, tried to live with that intensity and an unwavering sense of purpose. Though i am not entirely sure of where i am headed to or what kind of work or love will make me truly happy, i am closer to figuring that out much more now than ever before.
It is not my finest hour at the moment, but someday you’ll be very, very proud of me. This, I promise you.
And we’ll meet again. In that faraway universe of yours from where you shine upon us.
But not yet.
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*Didi is the Hindi word for “elder sister”
My beloved cousin sister, 3 years older than me, died at the age of 20 in a fiery car crash on Interstate 10 in the US on 15th January, 2006. She was on her way from University of Florida at Gainesville to her hometown in Jacksonville, Florida. She was driving the car when it veered off the highway in Columbia County, struck a group of trees and exploded.
She was the loveliest and the most vivacious person i’ve ever known.